Why Overwhelmed Working Mums Can’t Switch Off (and What To Do About It)

Introduction

It’s late. You’ve finally collapsed on the sofa after juggling work deadlines, school runs, and a never-ending list of things to do. Your body is begging for rest, but your mind won’t switch off. Instead of relaxing, you’re replaying conversations, worrying about tomorrow, and reminding yourself of all the things you didn’t do today.

Sound familiar?

If you’re a working mum, chances are you know this cycle all too well. But here’s the thing: you’re not broken, weak, or failing. You’re stuck in survival mode, and it’s your body or your willpower, that’s keeping you there.

In this post, I’ll share why this happens and the first steps you can take to reclaim a sense of calm.

Why You Can’t Switch Off

When you’re juggling a career, children, a household, and the invisible mental load, your nervous system often lives in a constant state of fight-or-flight. It’s as if your body believes you’re under threat, even if the “threat” is just an inbox full of emails or your toddler refusing dinner.

The thing is, when your nervous system is on high alert, it’s designed to keep you wired. That’s why:

• Your heart races when you should be relaxing.
• You snap at your kids over small things.
• You lie awake at night, even when you’re exhausted.

This isn’t because you’re not trying hard enough. It’s because your body is doing its job - keeping you alert and ready to deal with danger. The problem is that modern life keeps us in this state far too often.

The Myths That Keep Us Stuck

So many working mums I speak to carry beliefs that make this worse. Maybe you’ve told yourself:

• “I just need to be more organised.”
• “It’s normal to feel this stressed, everyone does.”
• “I’ll rest when everything’s done.”

But the trust is:

• Organisation alone won’t calm your nervous system.
• Stress doesn’t just live in your mind, it lives in your body.
• And if you’re waiting until everything is done to rest? You’ll be waiting forever.

These myths keep us stuck in a cycle of overdoing, overthinking, and overworking.

What Actually Helps

The first step isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about giving your nervous system small, gentle signals that it’s safe to slow down.

Here are two simple ways to start:

1. The 5-Breath Reset

• Stop what you’re doing and take five slow, deep breaths.
• Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
• Imagine letting go of tension with each exhale.

Why it works: This slows your heart rate and tells your body you’re safe.

2. Notice Your Signals

• Overwhelm shows up in the body before the mind catches up.
• Pay attention to clues: a tight chest, headaches, irritability.
• The earlier you notice, the easier it is to reset.

Inside the The Thrive Circle, I teach short regulation resets like these that take just a few minutes but create lasting calm. These are the exact tools that help you find your footing again.

The Emotional Cost of Living Wired

Let’s be honest, it’s not just about feeling stressed. Living in constant fight-or-flight mode can leave you:

• Snapping at your children, then drowning in guilt.
• Feeling disconnected from your partner.
• Struggling to focus at work, even when the stakes are high.

And perhaps hardest of all… it makes you feel like you’re never really present. Your body’s there, but your mind is racing somewhere else.

You deserve better than just getting through the day.

Finding Your Footing Again

The good news is, calm isn’t something you need hours of free time to find. It’s something you can create in small, repeatable moments. Like the quick reset before reacting to your kids, or noticing your shoulders are tight and pausing to breathe.

These tiny practices add up. Over time, you’ll notice:

• You catch yourself before snapping.
• You can soothe yourself even when the mental load feels heavy.
• You feel more grounded, even in the middle of the chaos. 

Conclusion

If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of exhaustion, racing thoughts, and guilt, please know: it’s not because you’re failing. It’s because your nervous system is doing what it thinks it should.

But you don’t have to stay there. With the right tools, you can calm the chaos, feel more present, and start to enjoy the moments that matter.